Home Based Business Mom

As you all know (or even if you don’t) - my butt has gotten big since I started working full time at home on the computer.

::Ponders whether she should go further with this post or not::

Oh hell…why not?

I’ve tried many things to slim and tone my new found J-Lo Booty. Not that it was ever been tiny in the first place. My brother always called me “Out Grow” when we were kids. He said my butt looked like some kind of overgrowth on my backside. He said it would be a nice place to set a potted plant when I got older. (Yeah…he’s a dork….a mean dork at that.) And can I just say for the record…..my brother has a mole by his left nipple that makes him look like he has three nipples. It’s very disturbing. I think he’s an alien. (Did’ja hear that bro….I called you out on my blog. You three ‘boobed’ lookin BOOB!)

Anyway….back to the LARGER, more pressing matter of my butt.

As a work at home mom….you may find that your once, slim and shapely rear view is storing some junk in the trunk these days. Of course, pregnancy didn’t help matters. Along with the sleep deprivation hell that your life becomes with infants….and then the Terrible Twos….then it’s separation anxiety with pre-school…then they are off to kindergarten where the 5 and 6 year old girls act like 16-17 year old girls (and when did that all start???) And the little boys are getting check marks each day because God forbid they wiggle in their seat or talk….

Anyway….
A lot of stress which causes lack of sleep…and lack of sleep can cause you to store more fat and lack of sleep can cause you to not want to exercise…and the next thing you know M&Ms have become your new best friend….and eating lunch…..actually fixing lunch has become just an endless parade to the fridge and pantry because you really need to get up and stretch your legs….and anything would be better than heading for the washer and dryer to do laundry….

::Glances at her hefty laundry pile that sits in the FOYER::

I yie yie….
Laundry or piece of carrot cake??

Damn carrot cake always wins.

Damn…carrot cake has thrown my adult ADD into a spasm. What were we talking about?
Do I even have carrot cake in this house? NO! DARN!

So….ok - your butt is big..and my butt is big (I feel better dragging you into this with me….), so what do we do? We work at home….we sit at the computer a lot doing our work….what IS the answer?

Well I went searching for butt exercises you can do at your desk…

The first article I find…

“Best Butt Building Exercises and Workouts to Build Bigger Butt”
There is no author to which to give credit to for this article….ummm…or to not give credit to….because honestly….does anyone want a bigger butt??
The first paragraph states: “Skinny with a small butt? Then these best Butt Building Exercises and workouts are designed to build a bigger butt. Crack the bigger butt code now.”

**Crack the bigger butt code now??????????????**

**Crack the bigger butt code now?????????????????**

There’s gotta be a joke in there somewhere…but I’m too floored to learn that some people want a bigger butt. Seriously?

Here….take some of mine! Kinda like donating blood — have a slab of my ass.

Speaking of slabs…..how about a slab of carrot cake? Anyone?

So…on with my search.

Ahhh…..an actual serious video that walks you through a 15 minute work out you can do at your desk!! That’s right…
Easy enough?

I think this is something I can handle. I may not ever crack the bigger butt code (Oh wait, whoopy-doo….I already did that….ya just sit at your desk and eat M&Ms all the time…and don’t forget to never sleep!! Your butt will be huge in no time!).

So ladies….if you’re getting a little ‘cheeky’ and not in a good way….maybe these exercises might help you as well.

My big butt has served me well. It’s allowed me to write web content to my hearts content. BUT…and that’s a big BUT…maybe it’s time to take a look in that three way mirror and attempt some blubber intervention. Or at least consider it.

I have other options of course….

I can run out and get some carrot cake. Nahhhh….
M&Ms?
Or…maybe….
I could set a potted plant on my butt, take a picture and allow my brother, the weird mole-nipple circus freak to gloat? Nahhhh…nope…hell no.

Yes…I think I can do these exercises. And my web content won’t suffer. I will still be able to write glorious content with a smaller fanny.

So my advice for today….my insightful pondering…..my guru like wisdom….

A big J-Lo butt is not needed to work at your home computer…..carrot cake is yummy……and cracking the ‘big butt code’ cannot be a real goal for normal people.

Carry on!

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Ya know….
I am a very tolerant person.
I am a good person.
I pay my bills on time, save money for my kids’ college fund, brush my teeth before I go to bed, give to charity, walk the dog, call my Mom, volunteer….

I love my family and friends, love America and love apple pie. Maybe too much on the apple pie….but not in a stalker-ish way.

So why?
WHY do people (mean people), steal my stuff?
Seriously - what did I ever do? I’m not mean myself? I’m really not. I don’t like to call someone out when they’ve pissed me off. I normally just suck it up and move on. But even I have limits. Don’t we all?

I realize the internet is like the wild west and there are scummy scums out there that just go around like…” HI! I’m a Scummy Scum, I can just do what I want…..look at me….no one can tell ME what to do! I’m the real deal scum, crappy, dirty, loser scum that has no morals. I would crap in your Cheerios if I could - but since I’m Scummy Scum of the internet I don’t even have to lay eyes on you, let alone your damn Cheerios. I don’t have to tell you who I am - I’m special…..a special brand of CRAP.”

::takes a DEEP breath::

I’m receiving many emails from kind strangers. (Thank you kind strangers.) They are all letting me know that someone has been ever so nice to rip off one of my sites.

Adchilli.info owner - you’re an ass. A lazy ass at that.

It’s quite obvious you’ve ripped off my site MoneyMakingMommy.com.
You didn’t even rip it off well. By the way….you might want to remove the reference to MoneyMakingMommy.com Message Boards off your dang index page!

You get the YOU SUCK AWARD!! Bravo. Have your domain name ALL private too don’t cha?! That makes it easier for no one to track your sorry ass down. Not even a contact form on your crap-ton site!! Nice….like that doesn’t scream SCAM!!

Karma is a bitch AdChilli.info.

I see you’re advertising your funk on Jobvertise. (BTW - I emailed Jobvertise to let them know of my plight. NO RESPONSE!! Niiiiiice!)

What do I do about you?? This is certainly not flattery. More of an insult.

It feels good to say you suck. Yes, yes…that does help.

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OK….it’s 1:15AM in the morning - but I’m feeling pretty perky and have to share. Besides…it’s officially Monday now and the Olympics are over, so I need to be productive. There is a theme….a purpose for this post.

::Whispers…”write, write, write”::

I got a couple of funny emails and responses to my last post (My Website Sucks…Waaaahhh!).
Thank you for the amusing comments. I was having a private giggle-fest this weekend and it was much needed.

So…if you read my last post you noticed I tied in having a sucky website with the movie ‘9 1/2 Weeks’ starring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger. This movie was made back in 1986. I was about 19 years old then. I didn’t see it when it came out - but later, when I was about 21 I saw it - and Wow…it left an impression. Naughty naughty. But in a cool way.

I promise you…..I honestly did not intend for my post to venture (or veer off the road) by writing about ‘9 1/2 Weeks’. Seriously.

Seriously.

But this is exactly the point I was trying to make about content for your website or blog.

::clears her throat::

JUST START WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!!

There will be good days and bad days. Isn’t everything in life like that? Without the bad, there is no good. Wax on, wax off.

But just leap in. Have faith in yourself and love what you’re writing about.

I love talking to other moms that work from home or run a home based business. Hence…this site, HomeBasedBusinessMom.com.

I’ve been working at home since early 2002 when the Asheville, NC radio station I worked for lost their long battle over the frequency (96.5 WZLS - which was rightfully theirs! Horrible horrible atrocity!) Off the air….and really not wanting to go work for some big corporate Clear Channel station…I chose to stay home and raise my 7 year old and 1 year old.

I had researched work at home for years and dabbled in web design. But could never really commit myself to anything because of my “job”.

So…in early 2002 - I started to take it all much more seriously. I needed to bring $400 a month into
our family income. And I was gonna do it!

So….I started writing about what I was doing to try and earn an income from home. To this day - I still do it. MoneyMakingMommy.com is the ongoing work of my work, researching work at home. Huh?

Yep.

I never looked back. Never took another job outside the home. And I am happy to say - I make a little more than the $400 a month goal I set for myself back in 2002. Did I retire my husband? Did I buy a mansion? Do I drive a sporty, flashy car? No. I don’t. But damn if I don’t work at home.

We are comfortable. And that is nice. But even better…I am here for my kids. My schedule is pretty flexible and that’s nice too.

So…
By writing, and sharing…even the most mundane crap (which is probably NOT Mundane to me!) - I have carved out my tiny little niche. TINY! Have you seen how many new work at home sites enter the NET each day?? And geeesh are some of them total poopy sites. Ugh….
But it’s the internet and it’s endless and huge, so you’re little niche it waiting for you!

Anyway…
Never did I really think that what I had to say would mean anything. Would anyone ever even read it?
Why would they? I’m just an unemployed, classic rock, on air chick??

Well ya know what? I didn’t care. I just kept researching and writing.

And last week….I wrote about sucky websites and ‘9 1/2 Weeks’. It just came out that way….like when you puke….you just can’t help how or when it comes out. (Kinda gross…..but you see the analogy, yes?)

So start writing.
I promise - it’s fun.
And what you have to say does make a difference. Maybe on the tiniest of scales, but that’s ok.
Eventually someone will notice. You’ll have that connection, and it’s awesome. And if you can make a buck or two sharing what you’ve learned in this crazy world - more power to you!

–Original Message–
August 23, 2008
RE: Kelly! OMG!

Kelly,
9 1/2 Weeks is one of my most favorite movies. And to think it could possibly inspire me to put more effort into my website, well ok. That’s cool. And hear I thought it was only a pre-empt to great sex or at least new batteries in my vibrator~!~ Now it well compel me to write great content for my website too. LMAO!
You need to tour nationally and let us meet you up close personal.
How about renting a theater and we’ll all watch 9 1/2 Weeks together and then brainstorm on how to write better content for our sites?!
Name the time and place!
Nicole

–Original Message–
August 23, 2008
RE: Mickey Rourke used to be so hot.

I honestly tried to focus on the message of your post, but I got totally distracted with the video clip of Micky Rourke. I’m a girl of the 80’s like you and that man used to be so hot. Damn shame he’s not taken better care of himself but thank goodness his hotness is preserved in celluloid. Amen!

Thanks for the great post! It was inspiring and INSPIRING! LOL

I promise to write a great article for my website right after I finish watching the entire 9 1/2 Weeks movie! LOL

Pam

–Original Message–
August 24, 2008
RE: Oh my, it’s early Sunday and I need a drink!

I’m going to be honest and tell you I have never seen 9 1/2 Weeks. But I will be renting it soon. How did I miss this gem?
Not only will I be having a fabulous movie night next weekend, but I honestly do feel inspired to write more stuff for my blog. I feel like maybe I could inspire someone and that would be pretty cool indeed.
Keep writing Kelly. You made my weekend.
A fan: David

–Original Message–
August 24, 2008
RE: Unique!

The movie 9 1/2 weeks and web content? Only you Kelly!
It’s like dipping doritos into ice cream. You think it will be kinda gross, but it’s actually scrumptious! As are your posts.
Peace,
Thomas

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