Saturday I turned 42.
4-2.
Hmmmm……..it’s not so bad. My face didn’t fall off and my butt didn’t expand 47 inches. My boobs are still not tuck-able into my belt and the wrinkles I have need no spackle yet.
Awesome.
I remember when I was 19 and I was horrified at the thought of being in my FORTIES.
Gag me with a spoon!! For sure.
Now….here I am…..”IN MY FORTIES“. Seriously. Treading ever closer to my FIFTIES.
I’m sitting at my computer, in my cozy little home office with a fabulous view of the mountains and horse pasture. I am my own boss. Life has been good to me so far.
I’m even listening to the Jonas Brothers. Horrifying to the young set!! How dare I listen to THEIR music. Ha hahahahahahhah!!! Bite me.
My 8 year old is finding NO humor in her mom jamming to Jonas Brothers. So I switch to Ashley Tisdale’s “Be Good To Me” and use the ruler on my desk as a microphone. The disgust on my daughter’s face is actually hysterical to me. OH the joy.
I guess that’s the first perk of being in my FORTIES. I have kids 14 and 8 that are quite amusing. I am cool and uncool at ALL times. It’s like being part of the Matrix. I have magical “cool” powers that I can easily “shift” between. One minute I’m cool…..the next they are replused by how un-cool I am.
Oh well…
I’ll just watch ‘The Breakfast Club’ for the 100th time tonight and feel better that the stars of that movie are all my age now and I look just as good as any of them do at this point.
Lookin Good Kelly. But is everything still working?
Now let me see…after a glance in the mirror and a few toe touches…everything seems to still be working ok. I did hear a little crack….but nothing fell off.
Nope….not as fine tuned as say….Heather Locklear as far as my 40-something body goes – but certainly not the grotesque, archaic blob I thought I would be at this stage of the game.
Could I use some Botox? Could I benefit from a 1 hour cardio work out every day? Probably. And maybe that’s what I will submit too before I hit my next decade. But for now…..I feel pretty good, look pretty good and I’m happy with it all. My Fergalicious days might already have passed me by – but that’s ok too, what has taken it’s place….happily married, health, kids, home, yard, minivan….even the token family Labrador Retriever. Contentment. Contentment in washing the dishes, working in my garden, walking the dog, packing lunches, hugs and kisses from people that adore me…..REALLY adore me (no matter how un-cool I am or how droopy my boobage gets!!)
It may sound really mundane to a 19 year old.….but honey….let me tell ya….you haven’t made it until you’re living a life of contentment. One day you’ll see. I’m sure right now I sound like Jaba the Hut drooling blah blah to you – but I’m preaching the real deal.
Breast implants and catching Gossip Girl may seem like “real” goals right now for the younger female crowd – and that’s ok – but I revel in my “Plain Ole Boobs- Desperate Housewives” life. And of course, I know not all young women wish to be the next STAR on a Girls Gone Wild video – many are working hard at accomplishing much more than I could ever dream of….to those – my greatest admiration (and please let my daughter be one of you when she’s older!!)
Plus….everyone has to succumb to getting older. The alternative …..well….not so good. I guess that undeniable fact is reason enough to never be jealous of perky. Gravity and time take care of perky……always.
So…..Happy Birthday to me. And to all you others in your FORTIES!
Here’s to another decade of fun. Another slice of that delicious birthday cake that goes straight to the hips, to unrestrained merrymaking….and how about another listen to the Jonas Brothers?!
*~::I’m burnin up……burnin up::~*
