Posts Tagged ‘being a mom’
February 14th, 2008Happy No Candy Day
Honestly…
I STILL have Halloween candy at my house.
OH and Christmas candy TOO!
As a mom that works at home…the candy dish is never far.
And it’s never empty! Was working outside the home filled with candy everywhere? I can’t remember.
I can’t remember fitting into those size 8 skirts that still hang in my closet either.
With each holiday my butt is getting bigger. Today my kids will come home from school with big ole bags of candy.
My husband will buy me candy….
He’ll hand it to me with sad eyes….eyes that say….”You don’t need this - but it’s Valentine’s Day….and since you become a bi-polar, head spinning, crazed, frothing out of the mouth wench when your PMS kicks in or your blood sugar drops to low….I am saving myself the agony of driving to the ER one handed because the bloody stump of my other arm is in the backseat with you gnawing on it.”
I complain of the candy…but I am an accessory to this twisted sugary crime as well.
At the drugstore the other day - I bought a bag of the NEW dark chocolate M&Ms telling myself that since it was “dark” chocolate - it was actually going to shrink my rear by allowing blood vessels to relax, expand and just painlessly usher the fat out of my widening rear. Maybe redistribute it to my face and fill in the wrinkles that are starting to form between my eyebrows. Of course - that wouldn’t take a lot of fat - I’d have a goiter-looking mass there if all the fat went to just that spot. So - lets send some to my boobs too. Boobs are just big fat blobs anyway.
OH if only…
Until that becomes possible, (I am sure there is a study going on right now for inner bodily fat-trafficking of some sorts!) I will declare all days that aren’t holidays as Happy No Candy Day. NO longer will I say to myself….”Those Halloween ghost PEEPS are only 4 months old….I’m sure they still taste yummy!” I will give away extra candy to…..hmmmm…who do you give extra candy to? It’s not good for anyone. Diabetes is on the rise…obesity…a slew of illnesses caused by sugar.
So…I’ll just throw it away?
Yes….toss it out. I will be free of it….not tempted. I will replace it with a gleaming bowl of apples. Apples that will now be my decadent treat. MY healthy, antioxidant filled, crunchy, succulent, juicy gift-of-nature, “candy of super fit people” treat!!
I can do this!
REALLY!
After all….Easter is coming up in a few weeks.
Little, yellow chick PEEP anyone?
