Dearest Dell-Robert_P,

I’m having a hard time believing that a Small Business Liaison from DELL would contact me through my blog regarding my DELL 2407FPW monitor issue considering everything I’ve gone through to try and get my DELL computer fixed over the past year??

Now….let me wrap my brain around this.

:::smacks forehead with hand:::

The on/off button doesn’t work on my DELL 2407FPW monitor and out of the blue a Small Business Liaison at DELL contacts me through the comment form on my blog?

:::Brain is still trying to figure out if I’m being Punk’d or what:::

I’m not sure what to think???

It’s like being contacted by a mythological creature!!
And I’m not trying to be funny!

Where were you when my “cost me a kidney” DELL XPS710 with all the bells and whistles started acting up within the first two weeks after purchase?? I don’t remember a single DELL Small Business Liaison uttering a word when I was on the phone with Shoeb_158101 or Shakeel_151074 or Sushma_103306 or Sajid_Ahmad_0111445 or even Thomas_117543??? OH and how about when one of these lovely so-called support techs asked me to “hoist up” my 75 pound computer, remove the cover off of it and start switching wires around!!!? Isn’t that what “Onsite Service” support is for? Ya know…the “Onsite Service” support I PAID for by getting the GOLD warranty! I didn’t realize it meant that ME….a woman with absolutely no computer hardware skills whatsoever was going to be appointed, “Take your computer apart and fish around in there unplugging stuff ” Tech!? The only thing true about DELL’s “Onsite Service Support” is that YOU, the customer, will be doing the ONSITE tech work yourself IN your own HOME while trying to hold the phone up to your ear listening to someone who knows probably as much as you do read a manual to you in broken English.

But again….didn’t see any DELL Small Business Liaison hiding in my bushes or on my front porch ready to give me a hand.
Have YOU lifted 75 pounds lately?? It’s freakin heavy!

Or how about the total jerk supervisor that made me cry and beg for a new motherboard – heard no DELL Small Business Liaison breathing heavy into the phone eager to help me??? Or how about the total doofus subcontractor DELL sent to install the new ‘begged for’ motherboard…only to tell me, “It won’t boot up – here’s the number for Tech Support.” Where were you then?? Do NOT pass Go – do NOT collect $200. But DO get a prescription for Xanax – you’re gonna need it!!

Dell-Robert_P….maybe you’re new with DELL. Maybe you’re just a nice guy. Maybe – by some miracle, you’re American and speak really good English…..I don’t know? Some say Bigfoot really does exist.

But the only way you can make this right is to refund my $3990.33 or to send me another system and monitor spec’d exactly as this set of junk I have now and give me a direct line to someone in your REAL tech support department that gives a crap about MY account, the money I spend with DELL AND knows how to help me when I have troubleshooting issues …which at this point….pretty much comes standard with any DELL, correct?

I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’m not trying to be difficult. But this so called “Total Satisfaction Return Policy” blah blah…and Gold Warranty blah blah and the three ring circus that has been my experience (my LIFE) since I bought this DELL system leaves me exhausted, exasperated and all out of faith in DELL.

Sincerely,

Kelly Land
HomeBasedBusinessMom